10 Ways to Promote Relationship Success:

  • Work toward your emotional calm; think objectively and clearly; speak and act constructively.
  • Express appropriate emotional needs instead of insisting on some pre-determined behaviour from the partner, i.e. “I need you” rather than the expectation of “you must take care of me”.
  • Don’t be a victim of other people’s emotional state and avoid take on their anxiety.
  • You are responsible for your happiness. The other person can’t make you happy.
  • Observe your pattern of behaviour and make changes without expectations of the other, i.e. be less needy or be less critical
  • Look for reasons behind the anxiety of others, so you can be less reactive, and able to manage yourself better around them.
  • Don’t take on the emotions of the people around you. You have a choice.
  • You can’t be loved, liked, approved of, accepted or nurtured by everyone.
  • Focus on you at least 51% of the time, so that you can be less critical of yourself or not blame someone else.
  • It’s important to make relationship decision calmly and thoughtfully instead of making them based on impulsive feelings.
  • Stop worrying too much about the past, as it is often damaging to relationships. You can’t rewrite history.
  • Focus on the future.
  • Stop seeking / expecting others to nurture you like how you were nurtured or want to be nurtured by your parents or primary carer.