The key to a healthy relationship depends on our ability to engage emotionally, be more responsive and repair our emotional injury. When we feel secure in relationships, we can reach out to others and deal with conflict and stress positively. However, today’s world can be very stressful, which often makes it difficult to maintain healthy, loving relationships. Research has shown that strong and healthy relationships, whether social or intimate, have a positive impact on our physical and mental wellbeing. People with poor relationships are more likely to suffer from depression and loneliness. Therefore it is more damaging to live in conflict or within a toxic relationship than being alone.
Statistics show that 60% of marriages end in divorce, and the average couple might be unhappy for over six years before seeking counselling. By this stage, one partner may have emotionally checked out of the relationship, core problems become harder to identify and solve. When negative patterns keep recurring, the problems become more entrenched, your relationship will take longer to mend or the damage is beyond repair. The earlier you choose to seek professional help, the more chance you have at rebuilding intimacy and saving the relationship.
WHEN SHOULD I SEEK HELP?
If you are constantly asking yourself:
‘Should I stay or leave?’
‘Is my relationship in a rut?’
‘Why do I feel dissatisfied and anxious all the time?’
‘Why can’t I maintain relationships?’
‘Why am I always attracted to the wrong person?’
‘How do we stop from constantly fighting”?
‘How do we reconnect as a family?”
“Why can’t I commit to a relationship?”
If the answer is ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you are likely to benefit from individual or family, couple counselling.
SIGNS YOU NEED HELP
Warning signs you that you might need professional help could include:
- You are not able to talk to each other freely and respectfully
- You feel as though you are constantly walking on eggshells
- One partner feels judged, shamed, disregarded, insecure
- Loss of intimacy / connection
- Secrets are kept from your partner
- Either you or your partner are contemplating (or having) an affair
- Relying on drugs & alcohol to relieve stress/numb your feelings
- Living separate lives – becoming like roommates than a couple
- Feeling everything would be ok if the other person would just change
- The same issues keep coming up repeatedly without being resolved
WHAT IS RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING?
Couples often come into counselling with a wide range of intentions – some conscious, and some unconscious; some shared, and some unshared.
Some people are content to simply deal with the issues that brought them to counselling and get back to their ‘normal’ level of relatedness. Others may be looking at ways to enhance and transform their relationship into a more fulfilled and intimate one.
Before you book a session, you should be clear about what you really want to get out of relationship counselling. Giving some thought to your goals will assist in moving the process along quickly; you might change them during the process, but it’s a very good place to start.
My role as a relationship counsellor, is to guide you to explore new ways of looking at things, to redirect the focus of your attention away from your partner’s behaviour and more towards yourself and the relationship.
We can’t control other people’s behaviour but we can change our own and in doing so will radically change the dynamics of the relationship. Many of us minimise our vulnerability and insecurity, when we have been emotionally wounded and scare. However, these are the key factors in the healing process.
I can offer you tools or suggestions that you may not have previously considered. Your job is to be as honest and engaged as you can be and explore new possibilities.
NOT JUST FOR COUPLES
Please bear in mind that relationship counselling is not just for couples. It can also be very helpful in other types of relationship, such as with a parent or sibling, an employer, a friend or a colleague.
TAKE THE PLUNGE
Are you ready to work towards a more positive, healthy relationship with someone significant in your life?
Enquire now to book an appointment